Rules playing dating game
However when, after a while living together, we find out that our partner has changed, rules don't seem to apply anymore and we experience the sense of disappointment.The reality is that the other person has just become comfortable and become themselves. It is a fairly easy concept which completely changes your paradigm of thinking!It gets people hurt, builds up false hopes, and makes us all a little crazy when it could just be simple. Andrea Wesley Andrea is a 31 year old freelance writer living in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada.She first discovered her passion for writing at the age of 10 when she began filling notebooks with poetry.Love and attention become conditioned and life becomes a competition for getting those precious resources. Bosurgi calls this reliance on the external world in adult life an overextended natural instinct of codependency, or Bosurgi Syndrome.To terminate it, a person needs to become the leader of their own life, provide themselves with love, acceptance, validation and leadership, and become responsible for their personal, professional and emotional success.
Are you meeting potentially suitable partners, finding that in the beginning everything goes well but that, after a little while, you can't help but be all-too-aware about the words, phone calls, text messages, initiation of dates and activities, and so on?
But are we always prepared to deal with the real person instead of someone driven by rules and expectations? To explain it, let's go back to the nature of humans and the mechanisms of survival.
If we are not, we start a game of getting control, attention, love and so on. It's called self-leadership and self-sufficiency. When we are born, we are dependent on the care, love and leadership of our caretakers.
Self-love and acceptance is also the way to love and relate to others without depending on them.
If we accomplish this, we become immune to what the world thinks of us, to the games, rules and so on.
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Just like any other rules which are created to support our life and make it easier and better, we start relying on these rules and we allow them to lead us, making decisions for us and directing our actions. What we often forget is that going after what we truly believe in, regardless of the result, is empowering because it allows us to follow our true selves instead of being part of the game.